sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
