I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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