Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
