Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
