Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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