If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize