They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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