Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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