Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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