you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
