i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
