I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
vagina is talking i cant
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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