I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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