either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
