dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
