i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
