He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
