I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
