More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
