she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
