It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize