jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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