my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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