Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
