Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
