she was so not down for the gang bang
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
