Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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