im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
