We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize