I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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