I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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