I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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