Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
