You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
