Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
