just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize