Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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