i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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