just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
