Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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