You smell like a Billy Joel song
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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