Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize