he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
