Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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