he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
