You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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