I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
