gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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