i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
