it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
