are you still at the devil's house?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
