i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize