u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There r osticjed everywhere
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize