i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
