When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
