Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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