i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
