when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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