I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize