My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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