Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She's the barista slut.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
